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so today I went out at 10am to do a grad photoshoot for a friend
then came back home at 4:30 and proceeded to cry alone for a good half hour. (((I know, I know)))

my friend's dad completely ruined my day holy fucking shit man. first of all he made everyone stand in the most boring conventional poses ever (completely pissing all over the artistic image that I'm going for, which is why this set definitely won't be posted publicly) and second of all HE KEPT. FUCKING. RUSHING ME. if I didn't take pictures fast enough he'd start saying 'click click click' and he kept asking if we were done yet.  so the pictures are forced looking and/or they're not quite in focus sometimes because I was so tightly wound the whole time and I wasn't able to concentrate on what I was doing. IAHGFDGHDFJNFRD STOP YELLING AT ME TO TAKE PICTURES I HAVE TO FOCUS YOU PRICK.

as if that wasn't enough pressure he also wanted to see EVERY GODDAMN PICTURE I TOOK. LIKE FOUR TIMES EACH. complete with lovely commentary like 'that one's okay' and 'yeah alright'.

he wouldn't let anyone do cute, candid type photos. no silly faces or poses. and I had hell to pay if I shot him at a slight angle because he hates his goddamn nose. also we could only take pictures in the house because it was cold. two out of the four people I was photographing wouldn't even put in the effort to SMILE. ARE YOU SHITTING ME. how am I supposed to work with you if you won't even provide me with basic grounds to start with??

I was just shaking and being awkward the whole time because I was so nervous and stressed. I get anxiety really easily, but absolutely resenting doing something that I love and want to do for a living was completely new to me and I HATED it. I hated the atmosphere, I hated the way I was treated and I hated all of the pictures.

I'm 17 for frick sakes. I'm a beginner, I'm learning, and I'm probably at the most unstable point in my life right now. I'm trying to earn enough money to survive school in a city 14 hours away from my family come August, alone for the first time and not knowing anybody at all. oh yeah, by the way this whole ordeal was for a measly 50$.

it's going to sound like I'm overreacting but I'm such a stressed person that is normally so passionate about photography, that this whole day just knocked me a couple steps back. I've never been treated like an artist before. like a professional. I'm always treated like a tool - people get all uppity when I expect to be paid the tiny amount of money I ask for, and instead of appreciating my artistic integrity, my style, they expect me to give them beautiful products with little to no freedom to do so.

SO THE LESSON HERE is never let yourself be underpaid for your art or service, and you DO NOT need to deal with people's shit. if you have a client that wants you to lower your prices, or doesn't treat you with respect - DUMP EM. you don't need to have that, there will be other people that are reasonable and easy to get along with that come along. those asshats aren't worth your time and won't make a difference in the long run. DON'T LET YOURSELF BE PUSHED AROUND. YOU are the artist, and YOU dictate how things go. if someone can't accept that, they can move right along.
stay true to yourself, and don't let people step all over you! be a door, not a doormat. >v<b

sorry for freaking out, it's just something that really affected me emotionally and creatively.

TILL NEXT TIME MES CHERIES~~~ <33
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:iconnicolovesme:
NicoLovesMe Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013
just punch him in the crotch and you can take a picture of him crying in agony. yeah that sounds nice.
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:iconkiemilkkie:
kiemilkkie Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
YESSSS KODAK MOMENT
that would make me feel better haha~
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:iconemm-gee:
emm-gee Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013
/pets
its ok, any time you're working with people, you will get clients like this
i get it at the salon. people telling me exactly what to do and what not to do, shitting their pants if i'm holding the comb at the wrong angle and proceeding to rip my own equipment out of my hand to do it themselves.
people like to take advantage of the fact that you're young and try to make you feel worthless if you're less experienced in their mind. i used to get stressed over it and try to do my best to please them because i thought it would be the best thing to do. you can't let them push you around. remind them that you're the expert and if they don't like what you're doing they're welcome to go to someone else
just remember that there's way more pleasant people out there than miserable ones. don't let pricks like that ruin it for you
ps you can take pictures of me any time you want, i won't complain about anything :meow:
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:iconkiemilkkie:
kiemilkkie Featured By Owner May 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
aaahhh you're totally right. ;A;
WHOA POOR YOU.
ahgjkfngd but yess there will always (hopefully) be the decent people that outnumber the bad ones.
girl, if we ever met I WOULD LOVE THAT <3
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:iconemm-gee:
emm-gee Featured By Owner May 1, 2013
haha you get used to it. you just have to learn not to take it personally. usually if you calmly ask them if they'd rather go to someone else for whatever service it is you're offering them (in your case, photography) they either shut up and let you do your thing or just leave
some people are just plain miserable~
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:iconfrangasm:
Frangasm Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013
Oh man so much truth in this :iconsadcraiplz:
//holds u
it's ok kishimoofins u __u
Your clients are the ones coming to YOU so you don't need to put up with that :V Maybe it's just 'cause you're new/slightly unexperienced, and that's why it happened
But keep working hard \o\
Good Luck with your school and go go go 화이팅!!
I'll be cheering you on, and be sure to post some of your photography on dA some time!
:iconsparkleeyeyuiplz:
Reply
:iconkiemilkkie:
kiemilkkie Featured By Owner May 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I KNOW RIGHT.
we have the toughest jobs in the world buuuhhhh
THANKS SO MUCH BB ~~ ;7; <3
Reply
:icon00kikyo00:
00kikyo00 Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Poor thing~ Ignore them. You are an amazing photographer, just forget about the whole ordeal. ;) Loves yous
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:iconkiemilkkie:
kiemilkkie Featured By Owner May 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
haha I WILL. HERE'S TO THE FUTURE.
I love you toooo ;q; <3
Reply
:iconpastel-cupcakes:
Pastel-Cupcakes Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That's terrible :( I hope you never have to go through an ordeal like this one again.
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:iconkiemilkkie:
kiemilkkie Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank youuu! I have a feeling it won't happen again, it was just a bad person. >A<
HOPEFULLY.
Reply
:iconpastel-cupcakes:
Pastel-Cupcakes Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem :la: Yeah I think it was just a bad person too :/
Reply
:iconebbiru:
Ebbiru Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Ok with the last part of your journal, where you said about how people use us like we are machines to do as they wish for our services and then sometimes they dont even appreciate what we do even though the amount of time, skill and creativity we put into the piece or related.. well along those lines.

But i have had that problem with a friend very recently, while i was reading this i was relating it soo much to what happened to her. She had cheap commissions, someone got interested, requested loads of work from her in a short time period of completion. This was because they had the money, took her cheap commissions and were like 'hey im gonna use her skills to do loads of art for me, for such a cheap price, great, lets make her work really hard and get every thing out of her etc'. Then she was getting so stressed out because she was sacrificing school work and education, and then she damaged herself and was kinda unable to draw so this made her even more agitated.
Then when she decided to say no to finishing the last of the commissions (the commissions were like very time consuming as they were semi realistic with no refs etc.) the person turned around and snapped at them, calling them things like they are a fail and not cut out for this type of thing, said they were too young and naive (and other worse). But the thing which bugged me was that the commissioner never paid her all that time. So they had no right to snap at her etc. They paid at the end. But only after saying that they will wash their hands off her and never accociate themselves again. -m-

Oh sorry for rambling. But i really know what you are getting at even though my story/example is of something different. I HIGHLY am against people mistreating any artist. Because what we do are things most people cant, we take years of skill and practice to become good in what area we focus on. Time, commitment and dedication, its hard work if you decide to start off working free lance. So you need all the support.
Yet some people just think that oh you/we are an immature person doing a cheap job, lets just use all their knowledge and abuse them before they put the prices up etc. NO

Also plenty of people think we are machines or some godly being which can spit out work every day or few hours. They never appreciate what we do to create what we have and are constantly asking, MORE MORE FASTER etc.

I really hope that you are ok! <3
Please dont let this bring you down, i find that in this industry where the harsh words and events outshine all the positives. You have to find one thing which will always make you rekindle that fire and keep going like you used to do!
;u;
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:iconkiemilkkie:
kiemilkkie Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
AAAH that story is extremely maddening omg. >A<
and I agree with eeeeverything you said gjfdngjktd.
but you're right, through all this we have to push all the negatives to the side and pursue our ambition!
and yes I'm calmed down now~ <3 thank youuu ;v;
Reply
:iconeli-star:
eli-star Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013
Eeekk your friend's dad is really terrible!! I hope you are feeling better now. >_<
deviantART muro drawing Comment Drawing
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:iconkiemilkkie:
kiemilkkie Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
YEAH I was not expecting that at all fffff
I aaam thanks! ;v;
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:iconcrackfaery:
CrackFaery Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
aww *huggles* It'll get better, I'm sure! A lot of teachers do this to first-time students to see who can take the pressure...or so I believe. It's a conspiracy that's probably taught in teaching school. I hope you take a bit of time to relax, don't stress too much! It's sink or swim, but since it's a passion you like, you can get through this bump in the road X3
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:iconkiemilkkie:
kiemilkkie Featured By Owner May 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
AAHHH I'm sure there's some teachers that do that, it sounds about right haha!
thanks so muuch <3
Reply
:iconcrackfaery:
CrackFaery Featured By Owner May 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
first semester, quite a bit of teachers did that to me |D and my friends lol And no problem~ it gets better from here on, I promise XD
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:iconrahaina:
rahaina Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Student Digital Artist
HOW COULD THEY??? OMG WAE, LIKE SERIOUSLY HOW CAN THEY? gah~ some people just can't seem to try to understand other people's situation and instead goes on and on about their selfish life. My god, like really....

BUT YOU'RE JUST SOOOO ISPIRATIONAL UNNIE! I mean, the amazing artworks that you create with your godly hands always makes me want to strive for the better and not really the best~ kekeke

and your fudgin wise quotes, lol
I would buy a book of your wisdom if I could~

STAY STRONG! HWAITING! :iconeunhaehugplz:
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:iconkiemilkkie:
kiemilkkie Featured By Owner May 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
YEAAAH some people just don't understand ffffff

WHOA THANK YOU GJFKNGD. ;V;
ahhahah euhehe yay for sounding wise~~

THANKS AND YOU TOOOO GIRL!
Reply
:iconrahaina:
rahaina Featured By Owner May 2, 2013  Student Digital Artist
awww thankies~ where would we all be without the support for eachother? hahahahaha

good luck for everything!
Reply
:iconprinceyapi:
PrinceYapi Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
/a wild lurky-watcher appeared

Oh my ;n; This sounds really horrible actually. I don't think you're overreacting the least, because I prolly wouldn't have reacted any different myself.

Well, it seems you're feeling slightly better, at least? Let's just consider it a lesson for all of us, ah ha ha... OTL ... Yeah... Hello I'm awkward. But I hope you're feeling better. u___u

Though, question-time. Photography, is it like, just occasionally or is it a hobby of yours? I mean I know you draw (duh), but I haven't seen any photos on here. Uh, sorry if that's a dumb question pfff ahahaha. >v<
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:iconkiemilkkie:
kiemilkkie Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
OH HEY THERE. /snuggles you

aaaahh thank you for relating~ ;v;
YUP I hope some artists will take this into heart!
but thank you so much, I am feeling better~

that is definitely not a dumb question! photography is actually quite equal with drawing for me. I'm going to college for my photography diploma this fall! I don't post any on here, but there are some on my tumblr in my photography tag.
and I have lots of photos on my facebook page~
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